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Saturday, April 13th, 2002
5:45 pm
Does anyone know that name of the song during the Cowboy Bebop episode "Ballad of Fallen Angels" (I think that's the title) that plays while Spike is falling? It's not Rain, it's the other one. Also, who sings it, if you don't know, that's okay. I should be able to figure that out after I know the name of the song.

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4:15 pm - More 8-Bit Theater Goodness... sort of...
Yes, Mountain Dew Really is That ToxicCollapse )

current mood: amused

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Thursday, April 11th, 2002
5:25 pm - I thought Jnoxenet might like this...
When I read her post about N'Sync.Collapse )

current mood: blank

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4:16 am
CHILI COOK-OFFS
NOTE: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is! They actually have a chili cook-off about the time the rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome! You will likely want to read this behind closed doors because, if you are like me, you will be howling out loud.

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INEXPERIENCED CHILI TASTER

Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Tester Named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon, when the call came.

I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted."

Here are the scorecards from the event:

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CHILI # 1 MIKE'S MANIAC MOBSTER MONSTER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

****************************************************************

CHILI # 2 ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

FRANK: Keep this out of the reach of children I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

****************************************************************

CHILI # 3 FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.


JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now get me. More
beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all the beer.

****************************************************************

CHILI # 4 BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burnout taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. Bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?

****************************************************************

CHILI # 5 LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very Impressive.

JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics.

The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage, Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!

****************************************************************

CHILI # 6 VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.

JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit myself when I farted and I' m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!

****************************************************************

CHILI # 7 SUSAN'S SCREEMING SENSATION CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge Number 3, He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing; it's too painful. Screw it. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

****************************************************************

CHILI # 8 LESTER'S LAST OF THE RED-HOT LOVER'S CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare it's existence.

JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild
nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he'd have reacted to a really good one!

current mood: amused

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3:23 am
Why yes! I am up. Why? Because *following text was deleted due to foul language and unintelligable ramblings*

I've tried sleeping, really. I layed in bed for what seemed like forever. The next thing I know is that it's already 2am. I was not happy, so I decided I might as well do something productive. I did some work. Did a little cleaning, but my noise seemed to disturb Lynx so I stopped.

Now I'm just sitting here. Doing nothing. Writing brief sentences.

Oh good, my chest hurts.

current mood: grumpy

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Wednesday, April 10th, 2002
9:03 am - Now for something completely different
I really like this song.

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9:02 am
I haven't slept for nearly 36 hours... I'm not happy.

I've got a big test on Friday and I know I'm not going to do well if I don't get any sleep.

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8:30 am - Insomnia... gotta loathe it...
I am the creature that never sleeps...


And despite how happy GIR looks, I'm very much the opposite.

current mood: awake

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Tuesday, April 9th, 2002
9:06 pm - Tell me if you remember when this show was on...
Invasion CanadaCollapse )

current mood: amused

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9:03 pm - New and Improved ER
Hahahaha...Collapse )

current mood: amused

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8:01 pm - See, I'm not dead...
And I brought a present.Collapse )

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Sunday, April 7th, 2002
5:00 pm
I want to learn to play this song on my acoustic guitar.

current mood: creative

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2:03 pm - Oh man... I love this one
I don't know who I like more, Black Mage or Fighter.Collapse )

current mood: amused

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Saturday, April 6th, 2002
9:38 pm - Fatherhood
Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, "Congratulations sir, you're the father of twins."

"What a coincidence," the man said with some obvious pride. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team!"

The nurse returned in a little while and turned to the second man, "You sir, are the father of triplets."

"Wow, that's really an incredible coincidence," he answered. "I work for the 3M Corporation. My buddies at work will never let me live this one down!"

An hour later, while the other two men were passing cigars around, the nurse came back. This time she turned to the 3rd man, who had been quiet in the corner. She announced that his wife had just given birth to quadruplets.
Stunned, he could barely reply.

"Don't tell me that it's another coincidence?" asked the nurse. After finally regaining his composure, he said, "I don't believe it....I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!"

After hearing this, everybody's attention turned to the 4th guy, who had just fainted, flat out on the floor. The nurse rushed to his side and after some time, he slowly regained consciousness.

When he was finally able to speak, you could hear him whispering repeatedly the same phrase over and over again.......

"I should have never taken that job at 7-Up"
"I should have never taken that job at 7-Up"
"I should have never taken that job at 7-Up"

current mood: amused

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3:18 pm - I had to take this one
Which 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' Character are you?Collapse )

current mood: silly

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Thursday, April 4th, 2002
1:15 am - And people wonder why I don't get out more?
Well, today was fun, especially the part where I was hit in the head with a rock. Yes, a rock. I was walking back to my apartment from my evening class and I guess some idiot felt like re-enacting David and Goliath, so they threw a rock right at my forhead. Thank god I have a hard head... at least it's a good thing in situations such as these... Whatever... I don't know who did it because I was more concerned with the blood that was falling down my face. Plus I became slightly disoriented so I had to get off my feet. It's lucky that some people saw what happened and came over to help.

Not to bore you with anymore details (plus my head hurts to do much thinking, so no writing now), I went to the nurse, she checked me over, told me I might have a concussion, so no sleeping (that's like asking the impossible, I sleep more than narcaleptics who're taking sleeping pills) for a while, Lynx's girlfriend showed up to take me home, and now I'm here. At the apartment, Lynx is dead asleep (lucky b******), and I can't really do much of anything. It hurts when I move my eyebrows... or my head for that matter.

Who they heck would throw a rock?! I really don't think anyone I know would actually do that. I'd like too think it was a accident...but who throws a rock a rocka t someone's head on accident. Hell... I haven't seen my head where the rock hit cause it's bandaged up, so I don't know how bad it is... It feels bad, that's for sure... gah. I've got a class in the morning at 8am! I need sleep...

And if some of this doesn't make any sense you know why... I don't feel like checking it for grammar mistakes like a usually do...

current mood: in pain, tired, bad headache

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Wednesday, April 3rd, 2002
12:39 am - If your friends with VoodooLimbo then you know already
This person needs some help. If you can donate information or money it would be a great help to someone in need. To see what I'm talking about go here.

I have no money to donate, so the only way I can help out is by spreading the word. If you can't help out, then please just help out by posting this in your journal.

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Sunday, March 31st, 2002
9:33 pm
What the hecks going on now? This movie is strange...

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8:50 pm
I'm watching 10 Commandments. That guy who plays Joshua is getting on my nerves.

When's the chariot race? :P Nah, I'm kidding. That's Ben Hur.

current mood: hot

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Saturday, March 30th, 2002
11:56 pm
DAMN YOU LJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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